12:34 AM

On April 24, 2017, as my boyfriend and I were celebrating our 8 years relationship, we also happen to held a very special event, a milestone in our very long relationship, our engagement. We really keep it as secret, no post mentioning about the preparation, we'd love to surprise people. LOL. Just kidding, no.

So, here I'm gonna share about my experience preparing the engagement parcel and so, I will try to explain in English and Bahasa. We held an engagement in Chinese tradition, it is also called Sangjit, seserahan in Bahasa. Basically, in the old Chinese or Buddhist tradition, Sangjit is an engagement ceremony where the groom present tributes to the groom, which is generally done after proposal and two month to one week before the wedding ceremony. And uh, we aren't going to get married in less than two months but in the next x months :P

Biasanya, seserahan Sangjit berjumlah 12 baki, But for us we only use 6 boxes. Less than 12 boxes is okay, yang penting jumlahnya genap dan menurut kepercayaan keluarga, kita tidak bisa menyiapkan 8 baki karena setengah dari baki yang akan dikembalikan ke pihak pria akan berjumlah 4, ini tidak bagus karena 4 adalah Shi in Chinese, and it can also means death.

Here is the list of stuff that Hendra ( my Bf ) give to my family :

  • Box of makeup, red dress and a shoes. The shoes here will be used in our wedding, it really help to sort of another unimportant things prior to the wedding. This box is a representation of the ability of a man who can fulfill the woman daily needs.

  • Box of two bottles of wine, Uang Susu dan Uang Pesta and Engagement Ring. Uang Pesta jumlahnya simbolis diberikan oleh pihak pria, tidak harus jumlahnya sebanyak yang akan diberikan untuk keperluan pesta. Sementara Uang Susu adalah uang yang akan diberikan dan hanya akan diambil oleh orang tua sebagai simbol uang pengganti karena telah membesarkan calon Istri dari kecil hingga saat ini. There's also a funny story about Uang Susu and Uang Pesta, in our family believe, the bride's side can't take both Ang Pao, only one can be taken and it has to be the Uang Susu, karena jika salah ambil Uang Pesta, dapat diartikan bahwa orang tua mempelai wanita menjual anak gadisnya ke pihak pria dan orang tua sudah tidak ada hak lagi dalam urusan perkawinan. Come on, that's just a tradition anyway. But still we did it, and my mom only take the Uang Susu :D

  • Box of 6 jar of sweet cookie, as a symbolism of a harmonist and sweet family that me and my boyfriend will build in the future.

  • Box of 6 Apple fruits and 6 Mandarin Orange fruits, as a symbolism of peace, prosperity and fortune.

  • Box of 6 canned food ( Kacang Polong ) and 6 canned longan fruit ( Buah Longan ), also a symbolism of peace, prosperity and fortune.

  • Box of one set of cloth fabric for grandmother, this is an additional request from my father. Since his root is Javanese, this box is named as Pesing in Java, seperti uang susu, ini adalah lambang terima kasih kepada Nenek dan Kakek yang masih hidup.

All of the box were prepared and wrapped by me :)
(Sorry for the bad photos, it was taken by a newbie)

And here is the list of stuff that I give to Hendra :
  1. Box of red blouse, pant and a wedding shoes.
  2. Box of sweet cake.
  3. Box of two red syrup as the substitutes of the two wine. Di baki ini juga Uang Pesta dikembalikan ke pihak mempelai pria. 
Sebenarnya tidak sulit mempersiapkan Sangjit, yang sulit itu kalau pihak keluarga banyak mintanya :D dan kami bersyukur sekali masing-masing keluarga "take it eazy" dan sama-sama tidak mau ribet, toh masing-masing sudah saling kenal. For us, this event is a formality and a commitment from ours that we were ready to take a serious path in the future, for a serious mark on preparing the big day. Menyatukan dua keluarga juga tidak mudah, butuh pengertian dan mengalah demi kebaikan bersama and we also encounter this conflict when selecting the date of our wedding. Geez, that's really take a lot of our energy but thank God we passed that hard time.

And, last but not least, this procession may different from each family. I said once again, it depends on each family tradition and never stick to one rule, so I open for any input from all of you who happen to celebrate in different way.

Notes in Our Sangjit Procession :
  1. Red dress for every one in the event. This is undeniable, and no need for explanation. Ok, just kidding. Red is the symbol of happiness and all kind of positive energy in Chinese, not a strictly red by the way, any other color out of white and black is still allowed.
  2. The Groom and his family came with the presents. People nowadays taking place in restaurant for a better environment or comfortability, but since my house is quite big and comfortable enough, the event take place in my house. The groom were not allowed to bring the boxes, it has to be brought by his family.
  3. Choose one representative from each family, usually a mature married man. Dari pihak mempelai pria tugasnya menyampaikan maksud dari kedatangannya, sementara dari pihak mempelai wanita tugasnya menerima kedatangan dan memimpin acara.
  4. The Bride serve a good meal for the guest.
  5. In the time of the guest having their meals, pihak mempelai wanita mengambil seserahan dari pihak mempelai pria dan menyiapkan barang yang akan dikembalikan ke pihak mempelai pria.
  6. In the end of the procession, when the groom's family are going to go home, pihak mempelai wanita memberikan angpao kepada pembawa baki dengan cara menyelipkannya di baki yang dikembalikan ke pihak mempelai pria.

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